I admit I get jealous..
Im not going to pretend that I don’t get jealous over the simple things because I do, I get jealous of the people who get to see you everyday, jealous of the people who get to hug you because for even a moment they are hugging my world. I get jealous and I try to pretend that I really don’t but truth be hold, when it comes down to it, I am the jealous type.
I can’t get over you.
No matter how hard I try, I just can’t. I can’t forget our memories, our conversations. Its like stuck in my head and I can’t get rid of it. I miss you. I miss your voice. Tell me how can you forget me so fast. It have been a long time now and I still can’t get over you. Please tell me how, because I want to..
i still do regret everything.
two guys. one, is my good friend. and the other is my ex, who i cansay i left for the other guy. yeah, i really hate admitting that. but its true. i left someone i really liked, for someone i didn’t have any intention on dating them or telling my feeling to. if that makes sense what i just said there. at the time i broke up with him, i was looking at what i wanted or what i was looking for in a relationship. my ideal relationship fitted perfectly with my good guy friend. the more i started thinking about all this, i more i wanted to break up with my boyfriend and just have a normal relationship with my guy friend. then i stopped thinking of what i already had, i can honestly say my boyfriend was near perfect. but i guess i wasn’t happy with that relationship. distance was no problem with us even though he lived in japan, until i started thinking all this. i used our distance as an excuse to break up with him. go ahead and tell me i’m the most ignorant person ever. there’s no more word that can hurt me anymore. even though it wasn’t my main reason, distance was a problem. i only go back to japan once a year and only getting to see him once a year, and waiting another year to see him again… i wasn’t ready for all that. i wasn’t strong enough. after few weeks after the breakup, i finally realized what i total idiot i was. there wasn’t anything i was able to do now and the only thing i could was hate myself. its been a little over an year now since i started having feeling for my ex, and hasn’t stopped. between november and now, i’ve gotten closer with my guy friend. i talk to him almost everyday and we get on each other’s neck like brother and sister. sometimes i want to choose him over my ex, but then i remember everything about last summer. i miss what i used to have badly. my ex doesn’t like me anymore, so you ask why i’m still holding on? because somewhere deep inside me, i have a little faith. i held on for so long and if i give up now, all these hours of crying and thinking will be nothing. i am having a major mixed feeling between two guys….
